Dealing with Negative Reviews

It takes a lot of emotional fortitude to be disliked. I sometimes wonder how black licorice handles it. So many people really hate the stuff (note: it’s a personal favorite of mine.) No matter what side of the black licorice yay-or-nay fence you’re on, you’re entitled to dislike or like what you want. There’s no right answer. Not everything is for everyone.

Not to get all Sally Field up in here, but the desire to declare, “You like me. You really like me,” is a natural one. Of course, we want everyone to like us. Sadly, it’s unrealistic. I know a recently published writer who was quite obsessed with getting 5-star reviews. When a 3-star came down the pike, she was crushed. I reasoned with her that the occasional 3-star, or even 1-star, is actually a sign of a healthy publishing ecosystem. All 5-stars might indicate something was “hinky” (purchased reviews?) and further, a 1-star review might be a signal that, as a writer, you’ve pushed some boundaries and defied expectations – and not everyone digs that. And that’s ok.

There’s even a new book called The Courage to be Disliked: How to Free Yourself, Change Your Life and Achieve Real Happiness which has become a massive hit in Japan and now globally. Whether the book is good or bad, I don’t know, but I sure like the title. I also love the fact that while it has mostly good reviews on Amazon, it also has a bunch of 1-stars. Ah, irony, you slay me sometimes.

Why do I bring this up? Is it because I have a new novel being released at the end of this month? Perhaps. The Carlötta Beautox Chronicles is my latest venture, and it’s quite a departure from my last book, Suffer.

Written in epistolary form, Carlötta tells the story of a cringy, yet charming, wanna-be actress as she stumbles and bumbles her way through Hollywood in her quest to become A Star™. It’s based on the award-winning fiction podcast of the same name. Truth? While Carlötta the podcast had overwhelmingly positive reviews, there were some people who didn’t like it. The book will probably garner the same reactions. Both are over-the-top screwball comedies which are just not some people’s thing. And that’s fine. Black licorice and all.

If you’re looking for an extremely light, bawdy, cringy romp through Hollywood that’s jam-packed with celebrity gossip, this might be your kind of candy. There are some deeper messages about the perils of fame-seeking and our obsession with social media, blah, blah, blah, but mostly, it’s a confection. A breezy, unchallenging, novelty novel if you will.

Kirkus Reviews called it “Awkward.” I say to Kirkus reviews: “May I offer you some red licorice?”

Press Releases for Indie Authors

Bet you didn’t know you had to BE YOUR OWN PUBLICIST

Not only do indie authors find themselves in the position of having to do their own marketing, they sometimes discover the hard way, they have to be their own publicist as well.

A well-executed press release can be a game-changer, propelling your writing career to new heights. Does the thought of writing a press release intimidate you? I’m here to take the sting out of the task with tips on to create a compelling press release that captures attention, generates buzz, and boosts their visibility in the competitive publishing world.

1. Craft a Captivating Headline that Grabs Attention. Make it 20 words or less. Create a Sub-header that gives a little more information

2. Dateline: Include the city, state, date, and the location where you are located.

3. The Hook: offer a compelling reason why this book is important now. You want to convince a journalist that your book is worthy of coverage. Is it based on true events? A gripping read? Award-winning? A well-written press release will make a journalists job easier, give them something to write about.

4. Add a Quote from you the author: what inspired you to write this or some compelling information about the book.

5. Include Your Bio: keep it short but give some info that builds credibility — awards, acclaim, experience.

6. Circle back to the book: write a short paragraph about the book itself. Don’t give a synopsis. Write more of a tease: something that compels the reader to want to buy it

7. Link to a Press Kit. A Press Kit that lives on your website, or in a google doc and contains high resolution photos of your book jacket and an author headshot. The press kit also includes a page of text about the book and about you. At the end of the press release: include a link to that press kit.

8. The End. At the end of the press release you want to add the words The end OR the symbols ### to indicate to the reader that they’ve reached the end of the doc. Seems silly? It’s actually a very professional touch.

9. KISS: Keep it short, sis! Aim for one page only. But if you absolutely have to go to a second page, do it at your own peril ;)

10. Now what? You’ve written the press release, now where do you send it? Virtually no one sends press releases by snail mail anymore. It’s all done via email. You can create a media list by targeting publications and finding out the email address for the journalist or relevant editor. This info is usually located on the publication’s website.

11. Something more: don’t just email the press release, lots of people are now posting the summaries of their press release on social media, including Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook using relevant hashtags like #pressrelease and other keyword hashtags, with links to the full press release.

Is Retirement Planned Obsolescence for Humans?

I have a nightlight in my house that has been burning since at least 1974. In the last 6 months or so, I’ve noticed it’s starting to flicker some; the bright yellow shine of the bulb punctuated with intervals of darkness. Nearly 50 years old. A miracle? No, actually just a product of normal industrial engineering.

My father-in-law, Walter Harlacher, was an engineer who worked in the lightbulb division at Westinghouse. Part of his job was to develop prototypes of bulbs that could potentially make their way to the consumer market. Sometime in the early 70s, he brought this one experiment home and gave it to his son, Eric, my future husband.

It was a single golden bulb encased in a cool looking, clear plastic housing with industrial-meets-art-deco-inspired aesthetics. There was an electrical plug on the end which made for a nifty nightlight for my then teenaged husband.

Was Eric especially attached to this nightlight, imbuing it with particular import or nostalgia? Not really; it was just one of his possessions which made the move to California when he did…with me in tow…in the late 80s. It’s been plugged into one or another bathroom outlet in every place we’ve lived.

Neither of us have given the thing much thought at all, until recently when I noticed one night in the bathroom that the bulb was definitely flickering.

Funny how you never notice something that runs surely and steadily until it starts to falter.

Many things in life are like that, I suppose. But it dawned on me how long we’ve had this light in our possession and I asked my husband about how…and when…he came to own it. That’s when he mentioned 1974.

That floored me. How can something like a lightbulb work for 50 years? Since it was a research and development project, never intended at that stage for consumers, there was no planned obsolescence engineered in. Planned obsolescence, of course, is an industrial design feature that renders a product obsolete or useless after a pre-determined period of time. The reason? To increase sales volume by deliberately shortening the lifespan of a thing. No lightbulb company would survive if one of their bulbs lasted 50 years.

I started to think about this in terms of people and how retirement has come to be a planned obsolescence of sorts. It’s implied that somewhere between the ages of 60-67, we’re past our usefulness when it comes to work, and we are either encouraged—or in some cases, forced — to leave the job. Sadly, our society sees older people to be as replaceable as consumer light bulbs or car parts.

Don’t get me wrong: I believe after a lifetime of working, people should be allowed to relax, retire, and spend their days playing pickle ball — if that’s what they want. I am grateful for social safety nets that are in place to ensure that. I fear and loathe the threatened erosion of safety nets like Medicare and social security, and worry that future generations will not be afforded the same guarantees. I believe we must do everything we can to fight against those cutbacks.

We live in a disposable society after all, but we can’t let that extend to our fellow man. We are built to last: maybe not physically but creatively and intellectually, at the very least. I think of that nightlight. With no one purposefully designing its demise, it can keep on going. Perhaps not as brightly as in its younger days, but it still shines. It is still useful. It still has potential. We all do.

A Daily Practice of Awe

Years ago, a started a specific journal which I entitled my Book of Awe.

The purpose of the journal was to write down, every day, something in the world that struck me with awe. The daily entries weren’t long, just a line or two, a mention of something special that I heard, saw, smelled, or felt. The project forced me to be in a state of awareness and mindfulness as I moved through my day. After all, I needed to find something to put in the journal so I had to pay attention! It didn't have to be anything dramatic like a rainbow (always awesome); some days it was a simple thing like a perfectly formed leaf on the ground or a spectacularly brewed cup of coffee. Corny. I know. 

Rainbows are kind of a no-brainer when it comes to finding awe.

I abandoned the project after about a month (yes, how awe-ful.) But I must admit: my brief awe project did force me to keep my eyes open as I went about my day. My self-assignment was to look for beauty every single day and I regret abandoning it.

Recently, I read an article in the NYTimes entitled: "How a Bit of Awe Can Improve Your Health." There's even a new book by Dr. Dacher Keltner called Awe: The New Science of Everyday Wonder and How it Can Transform Your Life.  The author is a psychology professor who helped Pixar find the emotional core of the movie “Inside Out.”

From the book’s blurb: “If we open our minds, it is awe that sharpens our reasoning and orients us toward big ideas and new insights, that cools our immune system’s inflammation response and strengthens our bodies. It is awe that activates our inclination to share and create strong networks, to take actions that are good for the natural and social world around us.”

The upshot of this: evidently, I was on to something with my Book of Awe! I've decided I'm going to resume the practice in 2023. I encourage you to bring more awe into your life. Per the author Dr. Dacher Keltner: “We are at this cultural moment of narcissism and self-shame and criticism and entitlement; awe gets us out of that." We need more than anything to get ourselves in a better head space. Now. 2023 could be the year for awe.

How to Pitch Your Novel as a TV Series

So you’ve written the novel, it’s out in the limitless universe of books, just waiting to be discovered. Time for you to start writing your next idea. Right? Sure, except you’re not quite done thinking about the book you just launched. In your daydreaming moments, you find yourself indulging in some “What if…” pipe dreams. What if my book became a TV series? Who would play my characters in a tv adaptation of the story? It’s a fun fantasy. One you can’t get out of your mind. Especially when reader after reader keeps telling you they can imagine this book as a TV series! Never mind dreaming: “What if…” How about thinking “Why not?” Why shouldn’t you try to pitch the story to networks and executives? How do you even start the pitch process? I’m here to help. Batter up!

The wind up! The pitch! This idea is a home run!

First thing you’ll need to develop is a “Pitch Deck” — a visual presentation document used since forever by entrepreneurs and corporations seeking investors. More and more often in Hollywood, development executives, agents, producers, and the peeps with deep pockets, are requesting pitch decks as a first step toward determining whether the idea is worth pursuing. At their core, pitch decks are slide shows that contain a combination of text, images, and graphics.

Why a pitch deck? Well, it’s simple: asking an executive to read an entire 80,000 word novel is a BIG ask. Busy people need a more digestible way to find out if the story is for them. In the old days, that would be a text doc — a treatment, a synopsis, maybe even a very detailed show bible. But since tv (and film) are visual media, guess what? Your pitch document needs to be visual as well. Lately these splashy decks have become de rigueur in trying to sell a show. You need to not only TELL the prospective buyer that your idea is good…you need to show them as well. You have to make the project look FUN, IRRESISTIBLE, and WORTH THEIR ATTENTION!

The cover for my pitch deck for Suffer! The total deck is 35 pages or slides in length.

As a screenwriter, fiction podcaster, and now, novelist — I’ve been involved in my fair share of pitch decks and I’m happy to share my experiences in creating them. The good news is there are so many tools available to help you design a punchy, eye-catching deck. If you have a budget, you can hire a designer. If you don’t, then sites like Canva, and apps like Powerpoint and others, have terrific plug and play templates for non-professional designers. My personal go-to is Canva.

What are the essential elements of a pitch deck? There’s no one way to do a deck but there are some must haves:

• LOG LINE —On the first page of the deck. A line or two that sums up the essence of your story.

• IMAGE OR MOOD BOARD — A page or two of arresting visuals that capture the essence of your story. They can be photos, illustrations, graphics. Images can be sprinkled through out the deck as well. Lately, I’ve been using AI art generators like MidJourney to help create conceptual artwork to enhance the deck.

• THE WORLD or SETTING — A brief explanation in text with some visuals that show where your story takes place, the world that exists as your story begins. In fantasy stories, you may need to have several slides explaining/displaying what your world looks like. In contemporary/real world settings, you still have to show the world but don’t have to do so much.

• SYNOPSIS - Several paragraphs in length, it’s a summary of your story. Synopsis introduces the characters, the plot, and what’s at stake.

• CHARACTERS — Can be broken down into Principle Characters and Supporting Characters. You’ll do a paragraph (or three) on the main characters, who they are, what their arc is, what they want, what they need. Supporting Characters will just need a line or two explaining their role in the story.

• ACTORS —This will be part of the cast pages. I like to include faces of actors I see in these roles. It’s not to say who SHOULD be in the role, it’s to give the producer or executive an idea of who COULD play the part in terms of physicality, gender, age, race. Think big!

The dream cast for my principle characters: Sofia Wylie, Reese Witherspoon, Michelle Yeoh.

• EPISODE BREAKDOWN — This is the trickiest part for a novelist. You need to figure out how your 80,000 word book would get broken down into episodes. First, of course, think about out how many episodes your story will need. Most streaming shows these days have 8-10 episode seasons. It could be a single season (limited series) or a multi-season show. Assuming your book can be handled in a single season, you need to decide what story points go in which episodes. ESSENTIAL in episode breakdowns is ending each episode with a cliffhanger. You’ll do a paragraph for each episode.

• SEASON BREAKDOWN — If you envision a show that has multiple seasons, you have to give some consideration to where the story will go past the first season. Sometimes this means envisioning the story as it goes BEYOND the story in your book. Think Handmaid’s Tale. None of the later seasons were anywhere near Margaret Atwood’s novel, but it all felt authentic story-wise. You don’t have to give the same amount of content as you did in the episode breakdowns, but you want to show the buyer where the story could go. Longer arcs for the characters. A paragraph or so for each season.

Be sure to add visuals to illustrate these points.

• THEME —Toward the back end of the deck, after having enticed the reader with your irresistible story and characters, you need to start to wrap up the deck. You do that by summarizing— in bullet points — the themes which your book/the show will hit.

• TONE — You want to really make sure the reader understands the VIBE of the show. It could be a show about murder…that might also be darkly comedic. This is where you drive those points home.

• THIS MEETS THAT — OR “A” MEETS “B” This is where you compare your project to 2 other movies or tv shows. This can be a very fun process and it will do a lot of heavy lifting for you in terms of giving the prospective buyer an idea of the VIBE. It will work in concert with the TONE page to drive home the concept.

• BIOS — A brief intro of yourself as writer and whomever else you have attached to the project. If you’re lucky enough to have a commitment from a director, producer, or actors, absolutely include them here.

• THANK YOU — Niceness counts! You want to thank the reader for their time and include information on how they can get in touch.

That’s how I do my pitch decks. There are tons of them that you can find on the internet. One of my favorites is the deck for Stranger Things. Google it using its original working title: Montauk. It’s fantastic.

The bottom line is: your deck needs to be a brief, but THOROUGH, summary of the story and it has to have a STRONG VISUAL ELEMENT — which can be challenging for novelists used to dealing only with story. I’m in the process of developing my novel, Suffer! as an 8 part comedy TV series. Follow me for more on my journey. On Instagram at @ACSloanWriter. On TikTok @ACSloan.

THE UNBEARABLE LIKELIHOOD OF MISTAKES — Why New Authors Need to Forgive Themselves in Advance

My first book — SUFFER! A HOLLYWOOD NOVEL — debuts in little more than two weeks and lately, I can’t help but be consumed with ideas of What I Am Doing Wrong™ in the lead up to its premiere. I’m not talking about the book itself — of course there are going to be elements I will wish I’d written differently — I’m talking more about the marketing of the book. When you are a self-published author, you are not only responsible for the contents of the book but you’re also responsible for how you bring it into the world — how you birth it so to speak. You’re the mother and the midwife all rolled into one.

Not only are you a first-time self published author, you are simultaneously thrust into the roles of first-time publisher, first-time book marketer, first-time publicist, maybe even first-time social media manager. That’s a lot of firsts coming at you all at once. These are the things that simply don’t cross our minds when we open our writing software and lay down the first words that begin our work.

It’s easy to feel overwhelmed, to become concerned with the shouldas, the couldas, and the wouldas. All those missed opportunities that that will dawn on you right after you launch…when it’s “too late.” I’m here to tell you there’s a way out of that negative thought pattern.

Forgive yourself in advance. The first time you rode a bike or played the piano you probably weren’t good at it either but you got better with time. Give yourself a break. View these missteps as learning experiences. Admit to and share your errors with others to hopefully give them a chance to avoid the pitfalls you no doubt will fall into.

One other thing: disabuse yourself of the notion that once you launch, it will be “too late.” Nothing is too late. If a particular marketing technique isn’t working for you, don’t stick with it, pivot, change your plan, try something else. Launching a book is a fluid, ongoing process. You can adjust your strategy and you can learn the lesson for the next time you launch a book.

One of my favorite mentors on the subject of book marketing, Jenn Hanson-dePaula aka @mixtusmedia on TikTok (and yes, you should be BookTok-ing it up on TikTok), reminded me that promoting a book is a longggggggg process. “The bulk of your sales is going to come after your release date.” My takeaway: A successful launch is great, but realistically, you should be playing a long game. Your book might not gain traction for months or even years. So take a deep breath, try a little tenderness, be kind to yourself, don’t beat yourself up on “mistakes” you make during launch. They’re not mistakes. They’re a chance to learn. Good luck.

Keep on Bookin’

A.C. Sloan

Suffer: A Hollywood Novel will be released 9/7/22 on Amazon and is Available for Pre-order now.